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Ian3145

Member
Mar 15, 2014
556
183
Dumbalk, Sth Gippsland
Keep looking ahead Ezza but just once in a little while, stop and look back too. Someone taught me it's just as important to ocassionally remember how far you have come too.

Good luck but in all honesty you probably don't need it because good things come to good people. oxo
 

Grimz

Member
Aug 7, 2014
195
82
When either Sam or grimz sends ezza the skimmer and everything and then we can choose a date thats suitable for everyone that's taking part in it. Sound good guys? :)
Just let me know where to post it out too and I'll get it out this week :) It's been vinegar dipped, washed in RO and boxed/packed, it's ready to rock!

Cheers
 
E

ezza

Guest
I am still not finished catching up on all this stuff! We were having a family lunch thing celebrating my husband's Nana turning 85 when I got the messages to get my arse online ASAP! I was totally unable to comprehend what was going on for the half hour or so after that. I was just completely confuzzled and so overwhelmed that I burst into tears in front of the whole family.

Without writing another novel, the last few years have been a real struggle. My family and I don't get along at all and my health has been terrible since I got pregnant in 2008. It's just been crap.

Every single thing you have each done for me... Just knowing you guys are out there gives me extraordinary hope. I have felt very very alone for a long time. It's a constant battle for me to accept that I am liked/wanted/cared for. It's not what I am used to at all.

The money you have donated will not be squandered. Last year we got to absolute breaking point in needing to find a large amount of money within a few months. We decided to hand all our finances over to a budgeting service that structures our money so we can't access it easily or waste it. They pay out a weekly living allowance and then either transfer money for specific bills to us or have taken over the direct debits on our behalf. We just could not afford to go into insane debt relying on credit cards so we cut them up when we signed up with them.

Facing the possibility of yet more surgery after barely scraping out the other side of the last one was severely stressful and daunting. We only just made it last year. We don't waste money at all, every cent is accounted for. I have felt extreme guilt lately as I feel like I'm not earning my share of the income and I was raised to understand that once I left school, I earnt my own money to support myself. I work no more than 15 hrs a week now. I am being sent for fitness for work assessments all the time to have a third party determine whether or not I should even be working now. I am scheduled for yet another one in a few weeks and I really do wonder if I may have to retire.

This week's neurosurgeon appointment is pivotal to us understanding the scale of the degradation of my spine and the treatment required to "fix" it, and to understand whether that means I'll be skiing black runs again one day, or if I will spend the rest of my life hanging around at home. The generous donations you have given will be put in our savings account to be used toward health costs. You guys will quite possibly own a prosthetic disc that might end up in my lumbar spine... I joked to my husband that maybe I should see if they could engrave it with "The Reefuge" if and when it goes in. Otherwise maybe I ought to tattoo The Reefuge logo on my body at the end of this (and it's not such a stretch.. I love tattoos!!!)

@Ian3145 is right about the ridiculous amount of money we have to spend on health. My medication(s) is hitting about $150 per month and I am not allowed to stop taking them, I'm supposed to go to Physio weekly or fortnightly and that's about $50 out of pocket per session. I'm actually meant to go to hydro therapy but we just couldn't afford it last year so I never started. I see a psychiatrist to stop me losing my shit at $170 for 30 minutes (he is worth every dollar)- that can be anywhere from fortnightly to every 6 weeks depending on my mental health. I have the pleasure of visiting a number of GPs who don't bulk bill, and specialists either starting with "neuro" or ending with "ologist" and those are anywhere from $150-$300 per visit. I saw one last week and have one this week. The surgery last year was about $5000 on top of every other medical cost through the year. There are times where we have to make major sacrifices with our money, buying less, eating less meat, we rarely go out, we don't have holidays. I got all my hair cut off before Chistmas which saves a lot. With these extra appointments now popping up after we thought we had made it to easy street... It's just been a rude shock and there is no good time. Aside from all of that, we still have a little person to care for who needs new shoes for school sport and would like to have experiences that we grew up with that we so often now tell her we just can't afford. Through the absolute grace of God, she knows I am not well, but we've been able to shelter her from most of it so she is just aware that I have a sore back and can't pick her up now, and that sometimes I get sad. She is coming through all of this with fairly minimal negative impact. We have massive support at her school and my mother in law has been helpful in spending time with her so she is able to have special care and see "normal" outside our house. I had to be way too open with my employer, but they know all they need to know and I am able to make the most of the time I am at work to get important work stuff done.

You guys are enabling me to have some peace of mind, knowing that I don't have to raid the very small amount of money in our savings. We won't be sitting at absolute zero in the bank after paying the next term of school fees. It means I don't have to stop going to Physio or stretch out my medication to force it to last longer. One of the main things, my aquarium doesn't have to suffer so I can go to appointments. The last thing I would ever want to do is be responsible for my fish or coral suffering. That's not at all what I want, it would be deeply upsetting to me.

I ended up writing a novel anyway... I just want you all to know that I am grateful to the end of the world. If you ever need anything, you tell me. All I have ever wanted to do is help people. To be allowed to love people and care for them. My Dad taught me that.
 

ReeferRob

Solidarité
Oct 22, 2014
2,661
931
Bel Air
I ended up writing a novel anyway... I just want you all to know that I am grateful to the end of the world. If you ever need anything, you tell me. All I have ever wanted to do is help people. To be allowed to love people and care for them. My Dad taught me that.
I wanna test drive a kangaroo when I get there too, so a hug and a Kangaroo ride will square us.

Been down this road ezza, back in 2007. I was walking out to the car and damn near ended up in the goldfish pond. 11 weeks and $380,000 worth of MRIs, MRAs and going to see cardiologists, ENTs and neurosurgeons and nobody could tell me what was wrong. It took me 3 weeks before I could walk without falling over or damn near passing out. Finally I went to see a friend that works for our national Institute of Health or NIH and he said it's probably an inner ear virus. The whole ordeal left us both drained physically, mentally and financially. M would drop me off at the shop and I'd do what I could to get out orders and we scraped by.

Heal quickly young lady, if you need something ask.
 

Lesley

Member
Apr 2, 2013
2,086
1,079
I have a funny story ezza, when my kids were little we were the same, broke due to an accident my husband had. I worked as a Nanny then (still do 30yrs later urghhh). I obviously worked for extremely wealthy families but was lucky they allowed me to bring my kids with me so I didn't have to pay for their care some where else.
I went grocery shopping once day, my two boys & 2 rich kids, the list included some meat, So to make it fun for all the children I sent the kids on a hunt for the things we needed to buy, we got the meat sections and I said right kids, T-bone steak & lamb steaks - all four children rushed off, i was slower because of the trolley, at the end of the meat isle there is one of my boys and one of the rich kids fighting over a a couple packets of meat, they had found the t=bone, so I walked over to see what all the fuss was and there is my son, yelling at the other rich child that he cant grab that meat because it doesn't have an orange sticker on it that says MARKED DOWN - we used to only be able to buy meat that was past use by date and was half price.
It was tough to explain to our kids that most people don't live that way.
My point is, kids are hardy and resilient creatures, My 2 sons grew up knowing that the big w shoes for $20 was normal for us, but they are fine, well adjusted hard working young men now. Its not always what we can provide for them in the way of goods and belongings, it is more the fact we spent time (we couldn't afford to go out ) and they new they were loved very much, rich or poor.
Your family will pull through and so will you little one, promise you that.
Your are cared for and cared about by every single person on here, need I say more.
Thank YOU @ezza !!!
 
E

ezza

Guest
A small update. I saw the neurosurgeon today. There is a bit too much going on in my body so he's ordering some more scans and nerve conduction studies so he can figure out what's causing the nerve problems as there are two separate areas (cervical and lumbar) causing separate problems.

I ended up just breaking down in tears because it's been so frustrating waiting for the chance to see him and trying to deal with doctors and specialists and all that losing your ability to walk and function, as a young and previously fit, person means. Even just trying to get him to really grasp the truly disabling nature of this took us a bit to get there. In the end, i have referrals and appointments to make and he will see me again up on the central coast in a few weeks to save me the arduous journey it is to get to Randwick. We're on the way.

Just for fun... He did the reflex hammer on my legs and arms. The right leg bounced less than the left which kicked very sharply, the right arm reacted... But the left arm did nothing. Nothing at all. Even I was surprised at that.

I am now at the pub drowning my sorrows with a beer while I wait for my poor overworked husband to finish the work he missed while we waited for the doctor to show up (2hrs late from his surgery).

I leave you with something I made a while back...

 

Ian3145

Member
Mar 15, 2014
556
183
Dumbalk, Sth Gippsland
Hey Ezza, the nerve conductive studies are not always conclusive but they can be very helpful. Using this method they eventually worked out why slapping my leg in a certain spot, knocks me out cold. Have they put the tuning fork on you yet?

Don't forget there are a bunch of us behind you and your family. Sometimes outsiders forget the impact it has on loved ones. Unfortunately I don't have any magic answers, it was my kids that got me through, but if you ever need to really have a good whinge to someone that really gets it, you know how to find me :)

The road may be arduous but I suspect you will come out ok.
 
E

ezza

Guest
I had a slightly inebriated exhausted epiphany while waiting for my husband to finish work after we returned from my appointment. I'm a Christian... I had just forgotten to let God help me get through this. I can't make it on my own. I know that I have YOU GUYS and I have God. So I'm letting go and I will just let myself be guided through this meandering path. We can do it together.

You all have my love. My entire heart. Bless every one of you. Yes, definitely pissed but I can type without misspelling. Only two beers!!
 

Grimz

Member
Aug 7, 2014
195
82
Where do I need to post this skimmer to guys? I haven't gotten an address yet! Lol